How do you Come to Terms with Yourself?

Peter Capaldi's final remarks in his "letter to my younger self" in the website the Big Issue came to mind: "The biggest issue for my younger self will be dealing with himself."

I instantly tried to find some sort of connection to me, while simultaneously feeling a bit sad for the man and appreciating how everything turned out, realizing (slightly relieved) his young adult years are not to be mine.

Looking back at that reaction now, I can acknowledge I'm a bit self-centered, but it only makes sense: I haven't changed out of these PJs or really left my room in well over 24 hours and I've had three years of college-level metacognition beaten into my head--two of which were done during the super-impressionable high school years.

And when one grows tired of TV shows and books and big world crises, it is only natural to turn to oneself.

I mean, why not think of yourself? We're all stuck with ourselves, aren't we? We experience the universe and process all of creation as ourselves. And on an atomic level we will never really touch anything or anyone: our experience of stuff right down to color is ours alone, and no amount of loved ones will keep us from the clouded thoughts in our own heads.

I've come to think that inside ourselves, there are actually two: the ideal you, and the actual you.

As crazy as it could sound, just roll with it.

There's first, the ideal version: a product of your upbringing and exposure to societal expectations you've processed and selected for yourself. In short, the ideal you is who you want to be.

"No brainer!", right?

There's an entire industry around self-help and grabbing life by the horns and becoming the best "you" you can be!

But the real scary part happens when you realize you can't change everything.

Sure, you can make yourself drink more water, or lose the baby weight, or get back to what you once were or who you want to be. . . .but you can't change your nature.

Everyone has their flaws--grooves and crevices others fit into to fill your days up with happiness. We are, if anything, social creatures.

However, accepting those flaws is hard.

Even harder is letting go of the vices which say certain things are flaws!

Because we all want to be ideal and sometimes you just can't be.

There is an unspoken word inside of you, deep in your core and that is who you are. And that word is not changing. Not for an ideal.

And you've got to learn to live with yourself.