Be Kind to Yourself.

You will learn in time.

Be Graceful with mistakes.

You will learn in time.

Be patient with unlearning things.

You will learn in time.

Be kind with yourself.

You will understand.

Imaginary Scenarios

A song I forgot the title of once gave me the best two lines in a stanza I've ever heard in my life:

"The best moments of my life
I think I saw them on TV."

And for the first time in my life I knew what restlessness was. The rage fuel inside of your gut: the winds moving and the volcanoes erupting inside. The urge to move mountains and run through rivers and seize some unattainable feeling of euphoria.

And then the restlessness died away with a fizzle and silence after a friend pointed out it's our fault for not going out and doing things.

I knew I wouldn't do much, so I couldn't mind much anymore.

But today I realized something: I am a person with a huge amount of potential. Beyond what I've said before. I have the potential of being someone's wife someday.

I can be the emotional support/co-op partner in crime to another human being. They Bonney to someone else's Clyde.

Beyond any other amazing idea that's crossed my mind--from traveling time to patenting clothing to renovating housed to make them look authentically abandoned--this is the most incredible. The chance to touch and be touched.

The chance to do something beyond all understanding.

If we're all capable of loving and being loved, who's to say we aren't capable of living and being lived.

For once I understood Belle.

Drink up the fountain of life!

Try and say "yes", before life passes you by.

Life, the Universe, and Fairy Tales (or "Why I hate debates.")

I recently got really into Douglas Adams and started reading the Hitchhiker's Guide, which quickly became one of my favorite things ever conceived be a human being!

This series was actually one of those I had been meaning to pick up for a really long time but never got around to, and it couldn't have come to be at a better time, since I was going through a bit of a crisis at the time.

An existential crisis.

Try and imagine what it could be like to realize you're pathetically insignificant in the grand scheme of the entire universe which most likely is no scheme at all!

It boggled me and I couldn't focus--I couldn't do anything!

Want a better idea? Danisnotonfire's got a great explanation of the feeling!

Point is, I was hitting an all time low and needed a pick me up, and lo! The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was waiting for me in movie form. It was exactly what I needed at the time!

After absorbing its story plot and getting to read the novels, including buying the books, I was cured! I felt better right away. I even try and find strength in the fact nothing I do will ever matter in the grand scheme of things.

It makes failure easier to settle with, which is important for me to learn to live with.

There's just one problem.

I now hate arguments.

This wouldn't be a problem if college classes didn't involve so much debating.

And the sad part is, my English teacher told me it's a good thing I learned this lesson now while I'm still a budding adult in legal terms.

Let's think about this one for a second: a high school English teacher of mine once said "I'm not right, I just know I'm not wrong." With this in mind, try and do a legitimate research paper. There's no word count and you love the topic. Just be satisfied with your decision.

I honestly can't do that. There's no such thing as a right answer and if you're open-minded enough, common consensus aside, almost every point can be validated!

Why do we debate? Why do I have to debate? To make more consensuses in the world?

Well I don't feel like it! I just can't muster up the energy necessary to try and shoot down the rest of the world.

We're a marble in the uncharted backwaters or the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the solar system. Don't even begin to try and pit me against the rest of the universe.

CS Lewis once said ". . .someday, you'll be old enough to start reading fairy tales again."
I think this is what he meant.

It's easier to create consensus with good fictional tales based on reality than debating endlessly. And sure, maybe once in a while a silly argument or a fresh debate could be fun to have, but a full-scale mock-congress? Or a mock-trial? Or more research papers?

Jesus Christ no.

I am done with these stupid research papers.

With love
Nick Strange