Life, the Universe, and Fairy Tales (or "Why I hate debates.")

I recently got really into Douglas Adams and started reading the Hitchhiker's Guide, which quickly became one of my favorite things ever conceived be a human being!

This series was actually one of those I had been meaning to pick up for a really long time but never got around to, and it couldn't have come to be at a better time, since I was going through a bit of a crisis at the time.

An existential crisis.

Try and imagine what it could be like to realize you're pathetically insignificant in the grand scheme of the entire universe which most likely is no scheme at all!

It boggled me and I couldn't focus--I couldn't do anything!

Want a better idea? Danisnotonfire's got a great explanation of the feeling!

Point is, I was hitting an all time low and needed a pick me up, and lo! The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was waiting for me in movie form. It was exactly what I needed at the time!

After absorbing its story plot and getting to read the novels, including buying the books, I was cured! I felt better right away. I even try and find strength in the fact nothing I do will ever matter in the grand scheme of things.

It makes failure easier to settle with, which is important for me to learn to live with.

There's just one problem.

I now hate arguments.

This wouldn't be a problem if college classes didn't involve so much debating.

And the sad part is, my English teacher told me it's a good thing I learned this lesson now while I'm still a budding adult in legal terms.

Let's think about this one for a second: a high school English teacher of mine once said "I'm not right, I just know I'm not wrong." With this in mind, try and do a legitimate research paper. There's no word count and you love the topic. Just be satisfied with your decision.

I honestly can't do that. There's no such thing as a right answer and if you're open-minded enough, common consensus aside, almost every point can be validated!

Why do we debate? Why do I have to debate? To make more consensuses in the world?

Well I don't feel like it! I just can't muster up the energy necessary to try and shoot down the rest of the world.

We're a marble in the uncharted backwaters or the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the solar system. Don't even begin to try and pit me against the rest of the universe.

CS Lewis once said ". . .someday, you'll be old enough to start reading fairy tales again."
I think this is what he meant.

It's easier to create consensus with good fictional tales based on reality than debating endlessly. And sure, maybe once in a while a silly argument or a fresh debate could be fun to have, but a full-scale mock-congress? Or a mock-trial? Or more research papers?

Jesus Christ no.

I am done with these stupid research papers.

With love
Nick Strange

A Guide to Not Losing Arguments in a Horrible Manner.

I had a brilliant English teacher and Government teacher once, whom were both brilliant debaters. These men were the kind of guys I wanted to argue with, simply because it was fun the very few times they could be stumped! They both shared some words of wisdom for the future over how to win--or at the very least never lose--an argument. And today, because I promised Doctor Who* and did not have the time, and now see it's obviously irrelevant to make the post, I thought I'd make it up to you with some of their golden rules:

You may not be right, but you're also not wrong.
This beautiful paradox left most students in horrible confusion early in the school year, until the beautiful truth came out to us: no one is ever right in a debate. It's just clashing opinions.

It's only when you realize the objective isn't to prove the other person wrong, so much as convince them your opinion is better, that the silver lining to debating comes through.

Don't get frustrated.
This is easier said than done, especially when you're young: the teenage brain is a weird place. But it's absolutely correct! Your life does not depend on this debate, and unless you're hanging out with a huge bag of penises, there's a huge chance the victor won't be rubbing their victory all over your face (I hope you enjoy that mental image).

Questions are stupid people's kryptonite.
When people start to not make sense, don't get frustrated and beat them over the head with the answer until you're shaking. They're stupid. They don't understand that they're stupid. You need to guide them over to the correct answer. But how?

Ask questions until they see how bad their logic sucks. Any good rhetoric class will teach you the classic rhetorical fallacies to help guide you through all the major bullshit--and this will help you out a lot in life! Suddenly, you have this amazing superpower to let you see through everyone's crapcake! You can see the idiocies of the news station, feel the atrocities committed when people with ethos or logos walk up to a microphone!

It will be haggardly depressing.

Educate yourself
In the eternal words of Ice Cube, you gotta check yourself before you wreck yourself (oh shit I felt old)! Nothing is more embarassing than throwing out a false fact and having someone fact-check your ass!

Always stay on top of the news, and look at different sides of the coin. I'm not talking Fox or MSNBC. Read the paper, man! You can download the app for your phone.


And my own personal tip:
Do not back the fuck off because you're fabulous and will paint OTP fanart in the blood of your enemies Hold yourself in high regards
Sure, no one is every right. And the key to a good argument is to be able to convince others you're correct.
But don't ever back down. Even if it ends in a draw, you will not be wrong!

With lots of love
Nikola Strange.
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*Do any of you still want a Doctor Who post? One up this post if you do (I don't bite, it's safe to interact with me)