Oh my God, I have a crush on Charlie McDonnell!

Listen to them NOW! DFTBA records!

For about a year now, I’ve been watching  “Charlieissocoollike”’s videos on YouTube after a recommendation from a friend when she found I had had gotten into Chameleon Circuit (whom totally deserve their own post—multiple post).

After some pestering from this chum of mine, I decided it was high-time to watch this so-called “Charlie” person. I tacked in the name and clicked on a video: this odd-looking British boy with funny rusted hair was staring back at me, talking about some everyday stuff he managed to make pretty interesting, along with some other at times oddball ideas, which again were delivered in an interesting manner.

Although I cannot remember the first video I watched, I can remember greatly enjoying the videos I watched that week, and subscribing a day or two into the discovery of Mr. McDonnell.  And really, what wasn’t there to love? We’re talking about a dude in his room/house making ridiculous videos that are genuine and fun to watch. Every video concerns such normal things, yet since it's written out and delivered to you so smoothly he makes them seem more exciting than when other people do them, much like how the music tab makes your friend’s funny Facebook status better turn into euphoria, and how gifs on tumblr can make buttered toast the best thing on the planet, even if it’s a sarcastic post.

In fact, I remember being genuinely impressed at the amount of camera tinkering that went into his procrastination video (to the right).

Plus I am a huge fan of British humor, and he seems like a great person, too. Very fun, relaxed (mostly), honest and downright fun/funny.

Yeah, this dude had another loyal follower.

It wasn’t until today, while procrastinating on all of the things I said I was going to do today, that I realized something astonishing while watching the Resolute Unicycling Muppet video. It was almost like the skies had open up by decree of the universe so that a revelation could come to pass--I have a crush on Charlie McDonnell!

As overly dramatic as that last sentence made it seem, my secondary reaction (()) was strangely Gryffindorian*:

Every damn time.

I mean, yeah Charlie is great and deserves all the love in the world as decreed by the laws of decent humanity and his legion of loyal fangirls, but why did this legion need me? Why did I like him?

Maybe this is just my thing, but It didn’t initially make sense to me, or maybe, as they say in my parent’s homeland, “Toda via no me caia el 20”^! So I began to really analyze what I define as beautiful:

As a younger version of me, I was often told that beauty lied in the heart of the beholder, and the phrase stuck with me more than other words of wisdom for whatever reason, so I began to make my own definition of beauty. . . .

And this is essentially what I’ve come up with:

Beauty is an emotion. It is not a question of being aesthetically pleasing. There is an entire science behind what is aesthetically pleasing to look at for another human being—what you would naturally be more inclined to look at—all to create a perfect realism for products. And every now and again some blessed individual will be born with that perfect face somewhat naturally.

But this is not the same as being beautiful. To be beautiful, in my opinion, is to spark an emotion within a person—a feeling I can only describe as beauty—to be happy, calm and accepting with an underlying but distinct feeling of fascination towards the person of your affection. It’s the distinct wanting to peel away at every layer of the onion and inspect each and every single line of it—every expression, every flush of color, every movement and shift in tone; to see what makes the person feel happy or sad or frightened or whatever, and to be, during the entire process, fascinated, happy and grateful they exist at all. That’s what I call being enamored.

Though logically I wouldn’t call it that, because I’ve never really met Charlie in reality and probably never will—in fact, I’d be shocked and ecstatic and too embarrassed to respond if he ever even found this post. More so if he bothered to skim through it.

Not to mention I was thinking of my best friends while writing out the definition, because “beautiful” isn’t just a unisex term in my mind, is also isn’t exclusively romantic.

Because the way I see it, why not surround yourself with “beautiful” people. People whom become so much more attractive with their flaws and fallbacks and misgivings, because there’s so much to love about people—certain types of people, I think; I’ve tricked myself into thinking all people are beautiful because I ignore those I don’t think are, so I’m surrounded by my definition of beauty (Does this post even make sense?)

Strangely enough, despite the fact I can see people as aesthetically pleasing and do find myself gawking at exceptionally pleasing people, I don’t ever find them physically attractive until I’ve pegged them with the title of beautiful, and often find myself finding the closest of friends physically attractive because they’re so beautiful.

And I found Charlie to be so beautiful during that video I could not stand it.

Which made me sort of worry what it’d be like when he’d change! Because I automatically connected it back to the “I’m excited” video, and how people will always change and evolve as they grow, and if I now found Charlie beautiful then it would be bound to end at some point in the future when he’d change, right?!

Wrong, actually. I went back to watch some older videos of his and found myself inwardly swooning like a woman from the 1950s. *Awkward*

This is a real person, and I will never know him, and I am swooning like a girl from the 1950s while trying (and failing) to keep a somewhat straight face.

I’ve been told about a million times my face is like a map.

*Sighs!* Regardless of my reaction to the chemicals in my brain, Charlie is now the cutest British man in all the United Kingdom to me, because he has become so beautiful.

So beautiful in fact, it’s now on my bucket list to hug him and maybe have a conversation that doesn’t consist of awkward silence and “How are you?” repeated over and over again.

Charlie, if you do by some odd miracle find this, you should know that you’re lovely to me and to a ton of other people across the globe. And I hope that thought puts a smile on your face. :3

With love
Nikola Strange

In celebration of my feelings, here’s Charlie:

My feelings exactly at the moment, more or less.

UPDATE:
Charlie has a girlfriend by the name of Bryarly Bishop.
Well, that crush lasted less than 24 hrs. :3
-----------------------------------------------------------------~(0__0)~---------------------------------

These are my notes:
((by secondary reaction, I mean my feelings towards the feeling of suddenly having a crush. . ..I don’t know if this is the correct term, or a term at all, but it sounded smart and correct, so. . . .))

^”Toda via no me cae el 20”, or “The 20 hasn’t hit me yet” is an allusion to payphones in Mexico, which once upon a time when they were real, would have some difficulty accepting currency (20 cents, or “pesos”) because it would get stuck on the way down. The phone would give you no notions of it receiving your money until you tapped the side of it, much like you’d tap an old TV when the picture would blur. The phrase is used now-a-days to express something that hasn’t QUITE hit you yet. You’re waiting for it to register.

*If you guys have not started following Hogwarts House Traits on tumblr, you should! Check them out! :DD*

I’m going to try something new called propaganda, or friendly reminders, to see what’ll happen so:
If you liked what you’ve read, subscribe to my blog! There’s a little button on the main pagey thing somewhere, so click on it!
Or bookmark this page and check up on it repeatedly.
Or find me on tumblr (same name) and follow me there! I’ll be posting up shameless self-advertisement there! :D
Btw, this blog is part of a conglomerate of blogs on facebook!! Like us and stuff! :DD

OohCullen! Gotta love YouTube.

Oh YouTube! How I adore you for all the bountiful fun things you give us! May you forever be blessed by the internet Gods, and may I always be blessed with awesome friends whom watch YouTube for me and hand me all the brilliant things they find, like Cullen Cochran!

 From this little beaut on, I was absolutely infatuated with this wonderful person's music!

 I ran my way through most all of his videos and found myself very fond of not just his music but his character. Unlike more *ahem* mainstream artists, YouTube has this brilliant ability of giving average joes--free from all the pressures of record labels and the worries of selling albums--to take on the roll of artist, which leads to a lot of experimentation.

 Creative, fun and genuine experimentation.

 From what limited exposure I've had to this young man's charming personality, I've found him to actually be quite pleasant! Any fan of a good conceit in literature accompanied with an infectious personality would most-likely love this boy.

Good lordy I must sound silly. I don't mean to play cheerleader, here, but this dude is just too damn pleasant!

And intelligent.

And funny.

And all-around talented.















With great taste in music!















And fandoms!

He's also a Nerdfighter.

Check the guy out, man!! If you like his style, he won't disappoint, spare a missed deadline or two. ^ ^"




Huh.. . . .this would be an absolutely useless post considering the amount of praise Cullen's already getting if it wouldn't have brought on a question onto mah noggin': Why is the viewership mostly women?

It should be a no-brainer, considering how I'm passively gushing over the poor man as I type, but it's not just Cullen: Charlie McDonnell, the Vlogbrothers, Nerimon, and other such YouTube vlogs are followed mostly by women--and some of the younger men openly admit they can't understand why this is, or girls in general.

I would say "Take note!" to the men in the audience (maybe one of the five people whom actually read these damn posts), but I'm willing to argue they don't have to.

These men are, roughly, everything a girl's ever wanted, be it in a platonic friendship, a romantic relationship or even in a sibling or cousin or uncle! We see in them what we don't see in the men surrounding us, but why is that? Do they not exist in our own circles? In our schools, or work environments? And if they do, why is it we don't see them?

To get the answer, we'd have to really look at how much of ourselves we put out for the general public online: you're alienated and distanced from the people watching you, listening to you, or reading your blog *ta da!*. How much of yourself do you put out there?

At the same time, how much do you hide after you realize people are reading or watching your things? Especially for the men listed above, whom have methodically thought of ways to engage their audience as Hank Green made clear in a video over vlogging.

I think this brings up another question: Are these vloggers really as pleasant as we believe them to be?
Short answer? Yeah, I think so. These guys do put a lot of themselves out there on the internet, proven time and time again via song lyrics, somber videos, and embarrassing questions answered. And they're courageous enough to post their videos up! I'm a coward in comparison! I spew out my guts and none of ya'll have seen my face!

In the end, it comes down to what side of ourselves we expose on the internet vs. "real life" (if the term is even applicable anymore) interaction: in "real life" (whatever that means), we're too busy worrying about what others think of us, while on the internet, with a level or two distanced and alienated, it's almost like being completely alone in your room--you can be the chipped, rusted, half-functioning, charming, interesting and generally pleasant human being you are without the fear of judgement or name-calling--because your league of fangirls will totally overpower the haters and you can just block negative comments anyways!

So maybe, just maybe, there are a lot more Cullen Cochrans out there in the world. We just can't meet them as easily as we've met this particular one, and probably never will.

With love
Nikola Strange

Empathy Dependency

After a load of (positive) peer pressure from my favorite dick of a best friend last year for not having watched the movies, I had finally given in and decided to read the Lord of the Rings novel—and I meant read. It’s my moral belief to always read a book before watching a movie! The school librarian, earning a spot in the awesome people of the world list, instantly dropped everything to help introduce me to Middle Earth: He flat-out rejected me the Fellowship until I had read the prequel book what started it all—the Hobbit. This book, along with its sequel, instantly became a favorite of mine!

In fact, I went out to purchase a copy of the Lord of the Rings book* as soon as I had money in my hands! I got a copy of the Hobbit on my Kindle and set out to learn all I could on the rich history of Middle Earth, gobbling up information over the Undying lands, the Istar, the different races of Elvenkind, and the men of Gondor, and Middle Earth herself.

You can imagine my sweet elation at finding out Bilbo and the Dwarves would be brought to the big screen by director, Peter Jackson.

Instantly, I began gorging myself on all the articles I could find, sharing them on Facebook, spamming my friends with the movie, and absorbing every released image. I ate away at the differences between the book and movie, along with its similarities.

One moment among these stood out to me the most, however. As per usual, I was very much late to the news of two fandoms of mine crossing, and began hyperventilating and squealing uncontrollably at my discovery of Bilbo Baggins being portrayed by Martin Freeman, better known to the Sherlocked at Dr. John Watson.

I was jumping for joy and scaring the neighbors when everything in my world came to a screeching halt: Tumblr was down.

By the Valar I was devastated! That beautiful site was my outlet! There are no LoTR fans in my family, and I only had two friends whom really liked the books and movies! I needed these strangers there for me, to understand and share in all my feels! I needed those hilarious images crossing the fandoms to feel complete—to relieve my happiness. Then it hit me:

We’re all really damn spoiled.

As a society we’ve all gotten so spoiled by this miracle technology, we expect people to care about things we care about, even if they’re complete strangers—we assume as fact this will happen. Caring! I was so amazed that this word could be reduced to something so trivial yet blown up to something so vast by the internet: the feeling and exhibition of concern and compassion for others looked for in people behind the clacking of a keyboard.

I remember when my elder sisters felt special and privileged when one had to give up the phone for the other to use the internet (why the hell were they on the internet anyway? What did people do on here then?!). Hell, I still remember sucking up the courage to sit through and weather the storm of the dial up modem and the happiness that ensued after the (seemingly) warm voice saying “Welcome!”

I began to wonder if, as a generation, we were too indulged by this sense of self-worth. Do we really love ourselves too much as to expect empathy? Or was this a coping of sort of mechanism to make ourselves feel closer to others? Have we really become so anti-social strangers are more welcomed than people we know? And how much do we really know about either side? The argument could be made that we’re more open to strangers, but when did the classic “stranger danger” safety tip become null and void for the sake of our self-expressions? And how much of that is really us?

I remember being genuinely scared of sights like Facebook and Twitter since people could follow you on them. I found it disturbing a site would name the connection of two separate pages “following”. The term “stalking” on the internet has become something of a joke; a quick laugh, to downplay you’re admiring of another individual. This is what we’ve come to. We expose ourselves to the world in a matter that would probably make Narcissus blush, yet we can’t help but do so.

And in a sense, who could blame us? The internet was initially created as a way to share information to massive number of people at once. With a slight tweak of the definition of information, you have the very basis of our social media structure.

But what of our attachment to this?

I don't think I would ever leave. I don’t think ever could.

I can slowly but surely feel myself losing my sanity, but I'd never leave this place. It's a society within a society, thus explaining the success of the anime Sword Art Online. In this world, we are who we wish we were, not who we really are . . . . . which is also concerning. I don't think I'm much different here and, well, here, but I enjoy the company of strangers, be they lovely lies or beautiful people. I don’t know what that says about me.

With Love,
Nikola Strange.