I need to
reeducate myself:
As of late,
I’ve fallen into a dangerous and dastardly cynicism, and I’m not enjoying it.
It’s coming at a high price—the ability to compromise, comprehend, and
co-create (it took me a total of 30 seconds to come up with three C’s).
A number of
factors have come up to suddenly bring this wave onto me:
My Government class comes to mind.
AP U.S. Government was a real eye-opener for me from the beginning. I
won’t pretend I was a special breed, thus amplifying the above statement: I am
your average nerd in an AP Gov’t class—interested in politics
before joining, plans to be politically active, didn't really understand wtf
the news was trying to say.
I’m proud to
say I understood the President during his live Internet Chat on youtube (and
greatly enjoyed his Roosevelt reference, even if I don’t hold too high of an
opinion on FDR).
Normally,
this would be viewed at as a brilliant thing! “Look, these children understand
our politics!”
Education is
the greatest equalizer of man, and that makes me lethal.
I want to
say that one day and genuinely mean it.
 |
| We gotta start aimin' for THIS, dudes. |
Yet the
downside is, like reality, not simple: I grew a set of core
beliefs. Most people wouldn’t see this as a bad thing, I don’t think, but I feel the need to elaborate. When we grow this core belief, we tend to
reject anything and everything opposing those beliefs, even if they make sense
or could benefit the whole of the nation/community. We see this all the time: our Congressional leaders pulling the breaks on the nation’s
business, the far-out margins spouting their beliefs on their metaphorical soapboxes. You may see it as backwards, yet they
(hopefully, depending on your viewpoint) see the rest of the world as wrong.
And that isn’t healthy. For anyone. We need more pragmatists in the world, I
think. People willing to look at the situation at hand and act for the
good of the nation instead of those looking out the lends of their beliefs
first and then applying themselves to the situation at hand—we need policy for ideals,
and not ideals for policy (gotta love sound bites).
At the same
time an admired man once said “If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for
anything!” So how much of this is actually harmful? How much is too much? Will we
ever know? What struggles are worth fighting for?! When are we pushing it too
far!? When do our leaders, and ourselves, overextend their cores or their
beliefs (parties) and endanger the nation and the world?
If you find
the answer to these questions easy to come by, I envy you. I wish I had that
shiny box-world, where all the solutions were wrapped up with a nice bow.
Simple patters, straight lines, and easy access to follow. Unfortunately, I live in an odd place.
 |
Arhgfbkvbfsifskbfcshfbkjdsbcdshzj
confusion!! |
Currently, I’d
have to try and find the balance. . . .and that struggle will remain with me
forever as a struggle to keep improving myself. Or keep myself at a functional
level. Yeah, I think the latter’s the most accurate. My thoughts are in a
constant state between too little and too much. Those moments I feel perfection
is more just a chemical reaction existing in an isolated environment, which puts
me on the same boat as just about everybody else on the planet.
Sure, some
argue that a healthy dose of cynicism’s good for the soul, which may be true,
but I don’t want to be too closed off from the rest of the options of the world
as to live in a bias. I guess I want to forever live in the state of a tabula
raza.
A young,
impressionable, clean youth, pure and unspoiled by the biases of the world; is
that a good thing to aspire to? I don’t know.
You cannot
stay completely clear of opinion if you want to dive into a subject. It’s not
possible. Even the most silenced of wallflowers has an opinion to express
inside. Yet I don’t want to be clouded from acceptance of others! I don’t want
to limit any progress that could be made through that limitation! I also don’t
want to give up.
Stephen
Colbert was once quoted as saying “Cynics always say no. But saying ‘yes’ begins
things.”
We once
spent an entire week in AP lang trying to decipher within ourselves (or debate)
which was best.
“Because
cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are
afraid it will hurt or disappoint us.”
To change
the validity of this statement, one would have to change the definition of cynicism,
and maybe make a reference to an important figure to back it up. Einstein is
good.
The
financial state of the nation spiraling Collage students into debt and killing
me kindly with the promise of a better future I’ll probably not get, because
the nation’s in a state of disarray and I won’t be able to work at DreamWorks
or Pixar or Disney and I’ll be stuck with a useless degree . . . . .
 |
| Oh look, problems! |
“They only tell you want you want to hear” My Gov’t teacher says “You’re all
wonderful and it’s never your fault. Those mean Republicans/Democrats don’t
care about America or Grandma! We’ll take care of it!” While he mimes kicking
the metaphor of an imaginary can. “By the way, we’re 16 trillion in the hole!
On a rocket ship to 20!”
“You’re
giving us nightmares, you know.” I had to blurt out like an idiot.
He looked
shocked. “I never meant to. I simply wanted to expose you to realities of our
system.”
And here I
am yelling at newspaper article titles.
Stephen Colbert, Ironically enough one of the most influential figures in my life and a person responsible for my core belief . . . .for lack of a better word, problem, once had these words to say on cynicism: “Remember,
you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the
ways of the world are mostly just cynics.”
I don’t want
to not believe in anything! I want to be entranced by the beauty of the world.
I want magic to occur! I want solutions. I want an ending to this chapter even
if it has to be dragged out of the world while it kicks and screams because the
grown ass people know when it’s time to stop being selfish! Yet something keeps me from shouting and leaves me largely empty and drowned, like
the weight of this world I have in my head snuffs out the fires.
“Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the
farthest thing from it.”
Well it
looks like I’m far from my goal.
“Because cynics don’t learn anything.”
I’m trying.
That’s the point of this blog. Dearest no one, I use you for therapy.
“Cynics
always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow.
Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as
you have the strength to, say “yes'.”
“’yes’ is
for young people.”
I want to
stay young.
Forever
young again.
But I’m only
17.
“So for as long
as you have the strength to, say ‘yes’.”
Right now, I’m
going through a weird mix between “Nothing’s that great” (quoted from Julia
Nunes) to “I’m not a hero!!” (A little thing my friends do: ‘Dude, I’d totally
ROCK as an Avenger!!’ ‘No wai, man!’. . . .), to “The name on everybody’s lips
is gonna be (mine).” to me laughing at how silly I sound. And repeat.
Can’t I get
over this and be some silly kid again all of the time?
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| yosshyoshyoshyoshyoshhhh |
Adulthood’s
five months away? I gotta get used to this shit? . . . . Okay (I guess.
Military can consider you to be a dependent to 26. . . . . But I don’t want to
be dependent and I hate not trying. Damnit).
Erphh. . . .
How about I stop thinking so much and get back to something easy, like my book
report or finding the cure for cancer?
The nation’s
problems will come the day I am good and ready to enter into office, and that’s
another 18 or so years from now!!
I'd get the last quoted sentence as a tattoo if it wouldn't sound terrible out of context.
With Love,
Nikola Strange.
(("WHY DON'T YOU PAY FOR THE STOCK PHOTOS?!"
I'm too broke to pay for free photos, okay!! DD:))
