Enjoying your Stay.

Often times I'll find myself daydreaming about being 20 or 21 with a job and a small place somewhere. Enough to live and have some nice clothing and maybe even some fancy possessions if I save enough money.

Then I get back to life and realize I'm still 18 and on vacation after one semester of college.

That I still live with my parents and eat the food my mom cooks and have my meals played at restaurants and I go back to daydreaming with some level of illogical shame.

"Meh" both of my parents went when I mentioned this once. "You're the last one we got [in the nest]!"

"If I can't treat you, then who else?"

The sentiment is sweet. And I'll always appreciate it.

But time's a-tickin' and I'll have to occupy myself with other things as well.

I can't wait for the break to be over. I miss college! Where's the challenge?! Where's the pressures of being on your own?! Where's the life-destroying sword of Damocles?! I miss that demented game of minesweeper which came with the instilled mentality of the college shift: everything in life was at stake every time I did an art project, or wrote an essay, or took a math test!

I genuinely miss being at my wit's end all the time!

Now that there's no work to be done and no new news from my school. . . .I'm not sure what to do.

"Enjoy your stay." I tell myself. But what kind of stay is this? Nirvana isn't for me anymore, I don't think.

I'm not cut out for babysitting.

If my schedule doesn't work out I'll get a job! If it does work out, I'll stress out over that.

But right now, at this very instant?.

At least Sherlock season 3 is on.

N.S.